Sometimes killers sneak through under the radar - especially if the Battle Commander is too tired to read properly - but luckily, their guilt usually gets to them and they reveal themselves.
Thanks to eyes sharper than mine -and perhaps a bit guilt ridden- the true assassin behind Sandra's death is now known.
B.O.T.S. Bugle THERE’S ALWAYS TIME TO KNIT
FEBRUARY 9, 2009
Sock Monkey of Doom on the Loose
Knitted primate suspected in the death of local knitter
Westport Island, ME--Local police discovered a gruesome scene at the home of Sandra Crehore today. Crehore was found dead at her mailbox, attacked with what appears to be a pair of Killer Socks, size 9. While authorities are releasing few details about the ongoing investigation, a source close to the Crehore family, who wished to remain anonymous, reported that a strange, knitted creature was left close to the body along with the deadly footwear. “I think it’s supposed to be a monkey,” the source noted, “but it’s like no monkey I’ve ever seen. I’ve had nightmares about that thing ever since I saw it.”
Some in this close-knit community fear the crime bears the tell-tale signs of the Sock Monkey of Doom, who was reported missing from the Yarn-Diego Zoo shortly before midnight on Friday, February 6. Zookeepers warn the public to approach their mailboxes with extreme caution, as the suspect may be armed and dangerous.
A tragic tale of hand-knitting gone wrong
Ina Stash, a veteran zookeeper at the Yarn-Diego Zoo, sat down with The Bugle staff for an exclusive interview about the mysterious wooly primate, known to the zoo staff as Noro.
“Noro was a kind, cheerful chimp when he was first knitted,” said Stash. “He didn’t look like all the other Sock Monkeys, but he was made with care and love as all hand-knits are.” Stash said she always thought of Noro as “colorful”, though others describe him as a grotesque creature with a misshapen, limbs made of scraps of leftover, mismatched yarns in garish colors of green, orange and purple, his face twisted in a crooked grin with eyes made of knotted yarn.
“As an adolescent, Noro began to realize he was different,” Stash said, tears glistening in her eyes. He was mocked by all the ‘normal’ Sock Monkeys and taunted by the other knitted animals until he dared not show his unraveling face in the light of day,”
“It got so he hated being outdoors with the other yarnimals,” said Stash who, with a note of sadness in her voice, went on to say that Noro spent most of his time in the darkness in his solitary cage. “He turned surly and bitter, even though I tried to tell him all the zookeepers loved him just as much as the other Sock Mon- keys.”
When asked whether she thought Noro could perpetrate such a heinous crime, Stash hesitated. “I wish I could say no,” she whispered. “But about a week before he disappeared, I was in the Sock Monkey House cleaning his cage when I caught him pulling strands of yarn out of his own tail.” Did she have any guesses as to why he was doing this? “I can’t be sure, but I think he was knitting socks. Evil socks.”
With great thanks to Jen D. of ME for passing along this report, and corroborating photos. Lock you doors knitters! Noro is reportedly still on the loose.